How to Know a Person
David Brooks argues that one of the most important skills in life is also one of the least taught: the ability to understand another person and make them feel seen. Drawing on psychology, philosophy, and his own failures at connection, he separates people who make others feel small from those who make them feel known. He offers concrete ideas about listening, asking better questions, and paying attention to the people in front of us. The book reads as both a personal reckoning and a guide to building deeper, more humane relationships.
What you might want to know about How to Know a Person
The questions readers send us most often, answered without spoilers.
Columnist David Brooks examines what it takes to truly see another person, and why so many of us are bad at it.
Yes. Bill Gates included it on his 2024 summer reading list and called it a blueprint for a more connected way of living.
How to Know a Person was written by David Brooks, published in 2023 by Random House.
How to Know a Person is 320 pages in standard print editions, though page counts vary slightly between hardcover, paperback, and large-print formats.
At an average reading pace of about 250 words per minute, How to Know a Person takes most readers 5 to 7 hours to finish.
How to Know a Person is available in hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats from Amazon, Bookshop.org, ThriftBooks, and most major bookstores.
